sobriety.revelations.reckoning
If I thought the two month mark would be some celebratory, flamingo pink cloud party, I was dead wrong. I feel like I’m breaking apart-constantly. It’s a continuous vacillation between feeling like my spirit is shattering into a million pieces and this desperate, roiling anger that doesn’t even feel like my own. (are there words […]
When I used to work at the humane society we’d call incoming mixed breed mutts ‘Heintz 57’s’. Spoiler alert: dogs of no discernible breed, who end up at shelters through no fault of their own, fucking rock. A ton of shelters now have ‘weekend getaway’ fostering so you can grab a dog or cat, smother […]
8 weeks. I’m not thinking about drinking, or smoking (although someone was smoking when I was walking back from the beach this morning and I took a good long inhale) but for some reason I have literally not stopped crying for like 48 hours. There’s some deep well of loneliness in me that I don’t […]
Four years later and I’m on day #54. No booze, cigarettes. No more boys (…) But I’m making edibles and smoking weed like a fiend. Kratom and green are my only substances. I’m more than ok with that. In the last year I have: cheated on my partner of a decade, ended the relationship, continued […]
Yeah, so today TOTALLY sucks!! Worst day yet-by far. Have you ever seen The Last Unicorn? It’s fucked up, all dark imagery and adult themes. I was obsessed with it as a kid and checked it out every time my parents made the hour-long trek to the video store. There’s a character in the film who’s […]
So I woke up this morning with a headache and scratchy throat-almost felt hungover. My first thought? “Oh fuck, I’m sick. So I should spend all day in bed…….drinking.” Ludacris, I know. Last night was a pain in the ass. I don’t know when Friday night began to automatically=GET FUCKED UP but I think it […]
Day #4 was brought to you by Trader Joe’s, seriously. This stuff is like crack and at $3.50 it’s in my budget. I could happily eat one of these a day-no lie-it’s like 1/2 whipped cream, 1/2 awesome vanilla bean ice cream. I could live solely on this and wine. I don’t want to drink […]
So yesterday was day 2 sober. Funny part? The not drinking isn’t what sucked. It’s all the shit that comes with not having a quick, tried and true escape from reality. I’m not in the program but I think there’s a fairly famous saying in the rooms, “You don’t have a drinking problem, you have […]
