sobriety.revelations.reckoning
I can’t get this one job opportunity out of my fucking skull. It just reverberates and taunts me. I hate the cold. I feel like it’s a personal affront to walk outside and be accosted by freezing temperatures, wet snow and icy wind. I grew up in Maine and lived there again in my late […]
I was borderline obsessed with Angelina Jolie in the mid 90s. I loved that she had a round face, big mouth, attitude for days and gave zero fucks. One of her first films, Foxfire, was a feminist manifesto based on a story by the venerable Joyce Carol Oats and it resonated fiercely in my angst […]
Not fml, but fuck my brain. The endless ruminations about the future and the past; the constant search for the next place, be it near or far, the lack of closure; all of it is seriously eating any semblance of joy I was hanging onto. There’s something about the stark coldness of the new year. […]
It’s the favorite time of year for gym owners, life coaches, and fitness specialists. In the USA, Monday will be a very busy health day. January 1st fell on a Friday and only the most dedicated decided to start their new diets/exercise regimens on a weekend. I think we’re all feeling hopeful, yet slightly let […]
It was the weirdest thing. At over six months sober, cigarette, and social media (for the most part) free, I had the strongest freakin’ urge to smoke this morning. Something about the cinnamon coffee vapors hit me as I saw a coworker sneaking out the fire door to puff; I thought damn, I could go […]
Sometimes self care looks like blogging when you don’t feel like it; just to get out some of the emotions swirling around inside. I have other outlets but I’m finding that some of the people around me no longer speak my language, if they ever did. And there’s no point in attempting to express yourself […]
The only eclipse of 2020 is today, 12/14. That also marks six sober months. Time fucking flies. When I think of where I was, what my life looked like on day one, it feels like I’m looking back on myself a few years ago. So much has changed. Not just in my internal landscape, but […]
Yesterday I met someone incredibly important to me, for the first time. My best friend died in 2007; after giving a daughter up for adoption in 2001. When she hit 18, her daughter contacted a PI and found the links to her family members. Serendipitously, I was able to be part of that. She is […]
For some reason tragic things usually happen in my life over the holidays. 2006 my mom nearly died. 2007 my best friend did die. 2017 Jazz went over rainbow bridge. And last year? Let’s just say I wasn’t in a very positive headspace. Christmas 2020? The jury is still out, but we’re hopeful cuz ain’t […]
I took a step backwards today and I’m disappointed in myself. I woke up to a credit score drop of 30 points. While I’m thinking of buying a place and credit matters. This was PayPal credit (don’t be me: do not sign up for it). I’ve been using PayPal since they linked with Ebay back […]
