Xmas Ghosts

For some reason tragic things usually happen in my life over the holidays. 2006 my mom nearly died. 2007 my best friend did die. 2017 Jazz went over rainbow bridge. And last year? Let’s just say I wasn’t in a very positive headspace. Christmas 2020? The jury is still out, but we’re hopeful cuz ain’t no way it could be anywhere near as awful as 2019. Recovering from 3 major surgeries in 3 weeks (with 5 more to go) after an out of the blue break up from rebound boi and finding out your ex is banging your former bestie. Zero stars, would not recommend.

This time of year always fills my heart. Even without a Christmas tree and all of the trappings of the holiday season. Though this will be the first year without my dad physically present, due to Lowy-body dementia, he involuntarily checked out mentally a long time ago. I’m actually grateful he can now look down and see celebration instead of being trapped in the diseased mind/body he was stuck in, afflicted with paranoia and fear. I can’t be with my mom this year due to COVID restrictions, but I have faith that we’re both in a good enough place to focus on the blessings instead of the sadness.

There’s a waning moon coming up and I’m really feeling the energy. This is a time of rest and reflection; taking inventory of all you want to hang onto, and the letting go of those thoughts/emotions/patterns that no longer serve you. A time to solidify new goals and nail down what you want the new year to look like. 2021 is ours to shape however we desire; what will you do with yours?

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