#57

When I used to work at the humane society we’d call incoming mixed breed mutts ‘Heintz 57’s’. Spoiler alert: dogs of no discernible breed, who end up at shelters through no fault of their own, fucking rock. A ton of shelters now have ‘weekend getaway’ fostering so you can grab a dog or cat, smother them with love, socialize them and drop back off before Monday.

So I’ve literally had tears running down my face at least 6 hours a day, since Friday night. I think it began as sadness but as my lens has changed it’s morphed into something else. On the beach this morning (noting how fucking blessed I am to be able to walk to the beach on my budget) I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the beauty and connectedness of humanity. No really. It was all kindsa like:

This is *not* a normal feeling for me. Most of my friends would think it generous to call me a misanthrope and my humor is usually in this vein of darkness:

So this new view, while awesome, is also kind of traumatic. Seeing everyone so vulnerable, so fucking human, it just feels like ‘too much’. Too much what?

There was a couple walking by the water and I saw the guy steer the female slightly left, as to not disturb 3 birds. That tiny act of kindness was literally almost too much for me to even bear. Like WTAF? Old me would immediately say, “yeah, but I bet that asshole eats chicken every fucking night and doesn’t even make the connection”. But that insidious, ever displeased, always irate voice is absent. I hope it stays gone.

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